Ajab 'DATA' ki Gazab Kahanni

After a year and a half wasted in a futile degree in jargon I recently had an epiphany which changed my outlook towards life, well to be honest, towards bachelor life. Being a happy engineer (though the two words cannot be used in a same sentence together but still…) and before coming to the 9^th circle of hell and sharing a bed with Lucifer, the quest of life was only to find a suitable mate of opposite sex (I really don’t know how to put it more delicately). But then MBA happened and the objective of the quest changed, which I recently became enlightened with. Since day one I found myself and innocent people like me, around me running a different race to find the more coveted goal: Data. Sometimes it was an assignment, sometimes it was digging graves to unearth the dead which was fashioned enough to be called research, some other time it was some crazy ass competition for a potential recruiter which basically is MBA euphemism for cheap labor, sometimes it was live project and since last one month it has been intern-ship which basically is a ship with worse fate than titanic (at least in titanic the hero got to have some fun just before wrecking).  So coming back to the quest, recently a female friend of mine after being frustrated with being single, pinged me on chat and said ‘I want a Boy Friend’ and I retorted ‘well I want data’. And this ladies and gentlemen was the moment of truth for me. The discussion that followed affirmed my belief on the hypothesis of DATA quest.

Friend: We are talking about more important things in life. Boyfriend is more important than data. Data can be generated (typical MBA confidence after getting acquainted with RAND() in excel) but boyfriend can’t be.

Me: See you can imagine a boyfriend and there is no limit to that imagination but with data you can’t imagine or assume after a certain limit. Boyfriend can betray you any day but data is always loyal to you. Boyfriend can lie to u but data will stare at your face with naked truth, though however irrelevant it may be. Boyfriend will make your life hell but data will make your hell worth living. Most importantly data will let you happily work on it, well that is the other way round with a boyfriend. A boyfriend can only get u laid but data if correctly represented will get you paid as well as ‘ppo’ed (which by the way is very important in an internship).
Call me a romantic but data can be loosely correlated to the Hindi word DAATA which is synonymous to GOD both spiritually and metaphorically.

My Friend didn’t reply after this and I highly doubt she ever will but my preposition was not entirely wrong. If only we had better things to do than running the race of DATA and if not, then they should change the name to MDA (Master in Data Abomination)….

P.S: To all those data Hunters out there who are struggling and working their asses off to get some DATA like me......

The Agony called Love

Today when I looked out of the window of my room,sliding the curtains in the evening, I saw that he was gloomy, he was alone, he was sad. there was something so depressing about this evening that even he has hide behind the veil of the dark gloomy clouds. He who has been so clear, so energizing and so blue, today looks deeply blue, ready to break down into tears and drench us all in the soliloquy of his solitude. Seems he is reaching out to his love, waiting she would look at him with passion, or love, or compassion, or something but she seems to be lost in her own ways. She seems to be dry, cold and life less from where he looks at her.


Just once, just once if she opens her arms for him he would bathe her in his love in form of a stream of thousand, million droplets, each being a small kiss running down her parched lips and dry cheeks.


The agony of the day is so evident in the air between them... The sky still waits to kiss his only desire...the Earth.





The Eternal Wait



Let it Rain...Let them be together... Let them live for this night drenched in the cozy agony of their love. Let the stream of love connect the beating hearts of the two to make it a Valentine.

Chasing the Mirage: An Illusive journey.

For the perplexed karam yogis of my age, it usually starts 8-9 years back, when kids like me get distracted towards a path of career building with a focused insight of what they need to do in their life. And to their dismay, for some like me again, who with all the grace of Lord, choose engineering to be their road to perdition, the journey which seems so simple and straight is actually a beautiful tapestry of illusions. Few of you reading this might contradict with me on the above thought but with no disregard to any of your emotions towards the field, I seriously recommend those haves not to read any further to disagree with the have not’s.

So we were discussing our eternal path to damnation. Once set en route, we do not look back. After 3-4 years of rigorous preparation and coaching (which is told to us to be the best in the nation or at least best within our reach), one fine morning we sit to write our destiny believing that our life changes hereafter. For few amongst us it definitely does but the rest like me either settle for the side salad of the main course or decide to wait for another serving. At that moment we actually never realize that no matter how delicious the salad tastes it’s only good for nothing more than digestion (pun intended). Well, leaving the bygones to be bygones, we embark upon a new journey, with a focused insight again for what we need to do in our 4 years of degree program. Wandering in a desert of opportunities we are always made to believe that our future is pregnant with great opportunities but unlike all the mammals this future never delivers on time. So with hopes against hope we keep on chasing the wild goose because somehow during this journey after our continual humiliation for being an Engineer, we develop an ego of being one.

Towards the end of this chase, we once again try our luck of writing our destiny and once again instead of the main course we had ordered or atleast wished to order, we have to be satisfied with the salad or just the wine depending upon the restaurant we chose to eat in. Hereafter we realize the journey doesn’t end here and we set our sails for the nearest coast possible. We are left with some selected options viz: MBA, GMAT, GRE and a less traveled but equally illusive road of Civil services. Now we put in extra efforts to sail against the wind with a job in hand and a focused insight for the final destination. In this seemingly endless endeavor of writing our destiny and waiting for our tomorrow to deliver, we actually forget to read what is already written. At no point of time during this collision course we are ready to accept that we might have taken the wrong path or the wrong turn.

This is where we need to define a line which should have been drawn some years back but I guess being an engineer we never learn to create boundaries or to define limits, instead going beyond them is what keeps us alive.

The Princess and the Snow... a story incomplete.

She was flying into the blue infinity, flirting with the winds and kissing the white clouds. She felt free, the blood running in her veins was powered with adrenalin. With one flap of her strong wings she could scale the highest of the mountains, touch the cold waters of the vast oceans, hover over the green pastures: She felt life; she was a bird; she was alive.
But then, suddenly she was falling, those strong wings of her started to shorten; with all her powers she fluttered; she was scared, she could see the blood oozing out from her body but there was no pain, she wanted to scream but her voice failed her; gasping for air she could see the ground racing towards her. She was losing to herself . She smelt death, but then suddenly she found her voice and screamed aloud.
Panting and drenched in sweat she became conscious of her surroundings and realized that it was a dream; a horrible dream. She reached out for the glass of water and saw it was still dark outside. Too terrified to sleep again, she climbed out of the bed to put on her robe. She went to the window to get some fresh air and felt the morning chill kissing her soft white skin. She looked at the horizon; still dark above the vast ocean. The view was exquisite yet somehow she was used to it. She walked towards the fountain garden of her palace. It was quite and calm, the wind was playing its harmony on the surface of the water in the pool. Bare foot she walked on the damp grass, she liked the touch of the morning dew on her feet. Sitting by the pool she saw the night sky was losing its darkness and the birds have come out of their abode. This reminded her of the dream she had. It was a disturbing experience that was haunting her for many a nights now. She couldn't understand the implication of the same dream every night but it meant something to her. The dawn stole into her gardens quietly; the beauty of the rising sun was breathtaking yet it didn't interest her. It has been quite a long since she is confined to this palace and now she was used to all these amusements.
The white pigeon; Snow she had named it, came and sat by the pool just opposite to her. It seemed there was something it wanted to say. In her attempt to hear a voice she said, " lucky enough you are to have those wings". And to her utter surprise Snow replied "you can have them too my princess. This palace is no place for the bird in you." She couldn't believe her ears but the pigeon continued, " Come with me, my princess, you shouldn't be confined to the walls of this palace. No concrete can incarcerate your free spirit. Come touch my wings and you can have them too." She was confused and thought of it being a dream. She pinched herself but it was no dream at all. She realized her disturbing thought is going to be true. She was a bird indeed stuck in a girl's body. With apprehension she moved towards the pigeon to touch its wings but it flew away. "Is this a joke" she cried out in exasperation. "Hear me out completely my princess", the bird replied "my wings come with a price. You have a choice to make: If you touch my wings you can have wings strongest of all, you can kiss the moon and play with the winds but you will have to pay with your life. Third day from now you will be shot by a charming prince. Or touch my head and you will have a gift of long life, you will have many a brave sons and many a beautiful daughters but you can never touch the sky".
She was deeply disappointed by the words of Snow. She thought hard, judged her life on the balance of the price to pay and then at last she came to a conclusion. She stepped up and with fumbling hands she touched the.......


P.S: Here I leave the climax to the reader. I was not sure of the perfect ending to the story. But I suppose all of us once have a choice to make which decides our destiny. So go ahead and give this story a deserving climax......

As it touched the parched Earth....

After a long day of work under the bland ambiance of my office, as I walked towards the exit to ephemeral freedom, I looked out through the glass window and found the color of the outside world to be shades of red and orange. This rather came as a surprise and instantly I closed my eyes thinking that they need some time to adjust to the light after incessantly gazing at an ancient 14 inch colored screen. As I passed through different levels of security check with impatience growing in the pit of my stomach I became conscious of what I was perceiving through the glass door. At last, only after the guard has ripped me off all my possessions and put them under the scanner where I strongly feel, if he is allowed he will put me too, I could step into the crimson new world.
With brisk steps I looked towards the dark skies and smelt the air. It was redolent with life and promises. Soon it grew darker and the shades of red turned into the strokes of grey. There was a piquant melody in the mellifluous sound of wind which was growing louder with my every step. I searched in my bag for an umbrella as somebody round the corner shouted "here comes the first of the season". Confused between the enthusiasm and caveat behind that statement I put up my umbrella as the first showers touched the parched earth. The air at the brim of my nostril smelt desperately, making my olfactory senses go into an overdrive. As the rains grew stronger and wind doing the rest of the damage I shrank myself under my helpless umbrella, like a baby bear cuddling to its mother, to save the tiny bits and pieces of me which were left dry. It didn't take me much longer to realize the frailty of my endeavors and soon I raised the portcullis of my fragile defense against the mighty. Now there stood only a flimsy umbrella between me and the dark skies glowing with the flashes of lightening but to my dismay this too didn't last for long as I lost my umbrella to a strong gush of wind. Acknowledging my defeat to a worthy opponent I let myself drenched in the glory of my defeat and got soaked in the cold water running down from the skies above.
There was a turmoil everywhere around me but every face had a smile on it or at least a sense of satisfaction as most like me had faced a defeat or didn't even bother to put up a challenge. I heard some boys hooting at the grey clouds above, a lady running for her sandal as she slipped out of one while crossing the road, 3 kids making the most of the moment on their cycles, a couple enjoying the romanticism of rains inside an auto rickshaw, throwing droplets of water on each others face, an innocent dog finding its way, crawling under the truck, howling every-time the thunder struck. I am sure every one of them will cherish the moment( not so sure about the helpless dog), throughout the year till the next first showers but as I sit by the window of my room watching the incessant rain for the 3rd continuous day I don't know for how long will the air smell of 'life' and 'promises'.....

The Homecoming

The horizon on the far end is brushed with a gamut of colors: the blue sky fading into the strokes of yellow and orange with a hint of pink at the bottom. The sun has long gone into the gulf of darkness, whatever left is the faint expression of the adieu to the long tiresome day. Soon there will be only a single color of night. This night seems to bring a lot of promises for a better tomorrow but still darkness is what brings an air of anticipation and anxiety into the mind space that seems to be restless by just looking out this small window. It is like floating in the ocean of darkness with no pole star above you to guide you on what seems to be a never ending road. It reminds me of a dry leaf that has long been detached from its branch and lost the root that used to keep it green, on a windy street being dragged, pushed and agitated on the mercy of the winds that toss it from pillars to post. Long back this leaf had a dream to fly like the birds that used to come to it’s tree for shelter and one day with hope to find its own sky and wings it left its abode. There was no turning back, it knew but it was also ignorant of what lies ahead. In anticipation and a surge of optimism it surrendered itself to the winds finding new legs and wings in each stroke of the wind, scaling new heights and touching new skies but then the winds grew cruel. It was battered, hammered and dragged brutally till the last corner down the road and then smashed on the wall like a million times. Now it has lost its color, someday it was green, prosperous and juvenile now it is pale, dull and ancient. Though it still wants to touch the blue but it misses the green abode where it was fed and nourished. Lying there at the corner of the dusty path the leaf decays and becomes the nourishment for the tree nearby and soon its essence finds itself in a new green abode with rejuvenated dream of touching the blue sky.

P.S: Tonight similar feelings grip the mind space. The leaf might just be a metaphor but something has really decayed in me that needs to be revoked and refurbished, so that I can once again chase my own blue sky.

Blasphemy..... A new religion.

What is my religion? Where shall I get redemption? Who is my God?

I have been lost on this matter for quite a long time now. Well, calling me lost would be very presumptuous on my part, as if initially I knew where I was heading to on this path. Honestly, I was lost ever since I began walking down this road. They say, when you are on a journey of your life the path you take is your religion, your intentions are your prayers, moving towards your destination is your worship and your goal is your GOD which is your redemption. But, now when I look back on the sands of time, my own foot prints seem to be a sacrilege against what is supposed to be my religion. I had doubted my intentions millions of times, many a times I was so broke that I gave up on my goal and started looking for options, whenever I had a choice, just due to my weak will I chose the one that was the easiest and above all after everything I did in this profanity, I cursed Him for letting me down this road.

The essence of any world religion lies solely in the answer to the question: Why do I exist, and what is my relationship to the infinite universe that surrounds me?
-Leo Tolstoy.

Very aptly said by the world’s best theologian but nobody said a word about what if someone is not able to get to the essence. Will he be termed as an infidel? Will he be tried for blasphemy on the day of judgment? There are opinions but no answer on this. I have read that everything in a man’s life is already written, Maktub as the Holy Quran describes it, then why we humans even strive to find the purpose of life? If we are just marionette in His hands and He is playing us according to His plan then what is the point in pursuing our dreams?
These are some questions we ask our self at some point of time in our life, but I suppose there is no answer. It is vicious circle. A man can never stop believing. He can leave everything in this material world but his faith comes from his soul. The day he is broke, he questions his existence, he strives hard, he yields and then someday he gets a reward in some way or the other for his sweat. This goes on until his faith, his soul leaves his body. Warriors of light, as a famous writer describes the people who fight for a reason in life.
Certainly we are warriors who are on a trodden path that is not ours; we have failed our spiritual obligations, lost faith in future and doubted the existence of our puppet master but as every warrior is once tried for the slaughter in the battlefield we will also be tried for this blasphemy. Nobody knows what will be our sentence but we will have to keep fighting to find the answer to this question….

Inception

Past couple of days, there has been turmoil inside my head. A plethora of abstract thoughts running through the sinews of my brains have set my mind-space on an override. It’s very hard to perceive things when every thought that comes to you is wrapped in layers of ambiguity. I don’t know why it has become so difficult to be myself but one thing that I am sure of is that something has shattered my perfect world and has compelled it to collapse by initiating an unending sequence of vague thoughts. It’s really amazing to witness how a person can influence your perfect world just by few words. His every word like a small stone sends millions of ripples on the stagnant surface of your world. For me it was no different. Suddenly I was aware of my actual surroundings, breaking my perception of what is around me. In fact, suddenly I was aware of my true self and this time there was no delusion. Truth indeed is stranger than fiction and harder than any rock when it hits you in circumstances such as mine.
He said we all hide behind a mask, trying to protect our secret, our emotional baggage from the people around us. It was then; I became aware of the masquerade I have been a part of, dancing to the tune of others but still hiding my true self due to the fear of being lacerated in the hands of people I don’t even know completely. He spoke about resistance and fiction. The harder we try to resist change, the harder it gets to move forward. The more we resist, the more we sink in to the pit. It made me conscious of the cocoon I have been living in, resisting my world from the inevitable and living in a fear of losing to something I have never faced. But I ignored the fact that there is always a takeoff before touching great heights. This made me realize the importance of chaos in life. Chaos: a science of process, is mandatory to reach any definite state in life. Like need preludes creation, change preludes success. He defines life as a tapestry carved out of events that bring all kinds of emotions at your pedestal be it happiness, sorrow, frustration, depression or anger. It’s up to us that which flower we pick to decorate our garden. This made me realize the concept of being the architect of our own castle. Perception is all what matters. The glass is always half filled and there is still a hope of getting it filled up to the brim. He wrote about being shattered, living in darkness, being afraid of light but still fighting for a reason because life is more than just about surviving. He paints a picture so beautiful of this dark world that now I feel I don’t need eyes to appreciate the beauty. This beauty has always been inside me but I never had the eyes to witness it. I wish, just for once I could see this world through his eyes and perceive it through his senses so that I can see it crystal clear.
It has really been a thought provoking experience for me. I extend my gratitude to the person who acquainted me to the inception of a new world around me, breaking my conceptions about a perfect world and making me realize that nothing is constant just a perception of constancy that drives us on our path to glory.

DIWALI .... The festival of enlightenment....

After a dozen of unsuccessful attempt to update my facebook status with Diwali greetings, I finally gave up. Not sure of how to put my heartfelt emotions this diwali on a social networking site, I once again took refuge in this universe of unspoken words...The place, presently where I am, provides with ample of opportunities to confuse you about proper word selection for festival greetings, changing the world into a sub-space where festival means a day off from work, where celebrations mean breaking the monotony in dinner menu, where companionship means 15 inch distance from a 15 inch full HD screen, and where excitement means not to wake up to a melodious yet irritating alarm. Painting a picture so clay shade might be an unauspicious omen and moreover complaining about this ironical plight is not my inspiration today, so I would like to start this post fresh and new....

On our way to office yesterday morning I was sitting by the window of the bus, when it suddenly started to rain. The cold raindrops touching my skin left a deep impact and brought a turbulent wave of mixed emotions from within me. In a moment my soul stretched its arms to feel her familiar touch and at the same moment my concsious mind interrupted saying that it isn't possible, but then, there was something in those raindrops which made me feel that my soul won and I could feel the bridge through those tiny, cold raindrops connecting a part of me to the world where my innerslf belongs. Rain has been pick of the gifts that marked the festival this year for me, perhaps because I come from a place where to expect rain at this time of year is quite exceptional. But still this rain quenched my thirst and settled down the restlessness that had been surging inside me throughout this festive season. Confused of what more to expect of this long weekend(its better to call the festival by this name) I had finally given up all the hopes but those drops of rain though metaphorically but still, bridged the hypothetical sub-space to my actual world . They say its the fire that brings light to mankind but this diwali the Rain brought a new light to me. It is this diwali that I experienced that happiness and solace come in small packages. It is this time when I found that the real meaning of festival is about finding a smile even in a raindrop which otherwise never makes a difference in life, experiencing light sitting by the candle in a dark room without electricity, enjoying a parantha after running in search of a resturant from end to end in heavy rain and sipping up a cup of hot coffee with a hope of a better tomorrow.

P.S: It was never about light, it was always about enlightenment....

HAPPY DIWALI

for(day=monday;day<=friday;day++)

"Sometimes we're on a collision course, and we just don't know it. Whether it's by accident or by design, there's not a thing we can do about it" says Mr. Button as he explains through a series of events that how life sometimes plays with you and you seem to be helpless.

His explaination though dramatic made me realize my present state and my collision course. He was lucky enough to live his life backwards and die as a child. Atleast better than living life in a circle and dieing the same death every week. Now time has lost its meaning in my life. What really matter are the days. If its Monday life seems to be young, challenging but cumbersome and tiring. Once its thursday it turns into a rush to get over with it on friday and then there is a full stop, an age of darkness begins as every thing seems to be dull and hazy for complete two days. I get lost, this world seems to have no meaning for me and in my grave I rest (don't know if it is with peace) but I ressurect two days later from my own grave to get born again on monday. Sounds indeed like a miracle. A miracle that made Jesus a mesiah but what if this miracle would have happened to him every week. Would he still have attained this status of being GOD, would people still go to church on every sunday to pay there homage to the greatest miracle on this Earth. If yes then I am on the same path. But that's not going to happen because there seems to be no 'break;' statement in this loop.

Talking of loops and circles reminds me of Mahabharat where Dhananjay was the only one who knew to survive the circles of death, that time known as 'Chkravyuha'. But I suppose times have changed now. It seems, Dhananjay like Abhimanyu just knows how to enter into the 'Chkravyuha' but is ignorant of how to exit. This loop which starts on monday and goes upto friday is just the inner loop and as of now is without a break; statement. I really pray to GOD that this Dhananjay of present soon finds a way out of all the loops and emerge as a worthy of this name.
As Mr Benjamin Button in the movie, in a letter wrote to his daughter , I wish the same for my life and my collision course:
"For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again". Amen

Still... the pain forever

'Its over' she said with a heavy heart and a choked voice, 'but I still love you and will always do'. With this she turned and walked away. And there he was down on his knees getting soaked up in rain looking down to the earth and the past came flashing before his eyes.....

"Do you believe in destiny?" she asked him. He looked into her eyes and replied "I am looking into it". She blushed and said, "stop this romance, I am serious. Tell me, do you believe in destiny, fate and luck. What if its not written for us to be together in future. What if there is someone else......"

----------------------------dark, black, nothingness----------------------------

He looked up and she was long gone, didn't even look back for once. Everything happened so quick that it felt like a dream. But, it was no dream, it was his worst nightmare coming true. He never knew the answer to her question but now he had only one word for it YES.
Again he felt like drowning in the cold water. There was light and he could see her......

She was still so beautiful, so elegant that his heart skipped a beat once again. But she seemed furious, gloomy but angry and suddenly he remembered the night when he saw it coming for the first time. "We were never supposed to be together... you of all have hurt me the most. Its not the first time that you have broken my heart into pieces. We were never destined to be anything more than friends and everything was a mistake."

----------------------------dark, black, nothingness----------------------------

His eyes opened once again but he was in pain. He wanted to cry but in this rain his tears betrayed him. And off course he knew there was nobody to cry for, nobody to hold him and make him realize that everything will be fine. So he lost to his destiny and his tears defeated him at the same moment. Now he knew it was his mistakes that drove them apart and he was ready to accept everything as a punishment. He started to get a grip and stand on his feet. How ironical it was, the rain which once seemed so romantic, today was hurting him with each drop. There was a faint smile on his face, but he wasn't sure of the reason for that smile. He took few steps but couldn't find strength to continue and there he dropped like a dead bird and again he felt cold black darkness around but this time he saw something which will haunt him till his death.....

It was the same day and there she was standing in front of him, all cried out. It was all on her face. He knew everything just by looking into those empty eyes. He knew there was nothing left for him. He was waiting for this and was ready to accept everything 'cos he knew he can't hold her forever. Life made him realize that it was never his destiny and he was ready to embrace it without any grudges for her. And then she said it but something happened, something unexpected, something which made him loose his senses. It's Over, she said looking him directly in the eyes, 'but I still love you and will always do'. This line shattered him. A lightening struck through the sinews of his brain. He lost his strength, fell on his knees and she turned and walked away, not able to see him in this condition.

----------------------------dark, black, nothingness----------------------------

He came back to his senses again and sat there cursing something he thought he now believed in. Why still? He asked. I was never meant for you. You always deserved someone better, at least better than me. I always knew I had my chance of having you but I missed it and will always live with this defeat. You always said, we were never destined to be together..... and I had made my peace with it. This time he found his tears, running down like a turbulent stream. His voice finding strength form nowhere and he was shouting at the sky above: Why now, why still and why for heavens' sake always? and then there was darkness again and these words sprouted from his lips....

I could have lived without you forever but now the guilt that I could have you for once will never let me die...

धुंद ...

ये नूर, ये जुस्तजू, ये कैफियत किस खुदा की है,
रास्ते ही रास्ते हैं अब, मंजिलें गुमशुदा सी हैं ।

बेबाक निगाहों मे सिर्फ खौफ़ दिखाई देता है,
नींद भी पलकों से कुछ जुदा सी है।

लहू की तासीर नम हो चली है,
दिल की तबियत भी अब ग़म ज़दाह सी है।

ज़िन्दगी की जूस्तजू भी फंना हो गई,
शमा की रौशनी भी अब धुआं सी है।

आयना केह रहा मेरे अक्स से,
आज फिर से तेरी आँखें क्यूँ रुआँ सी हैं।

किस बुत को सुनाऊँ ये दास्ताँ, किस से फ़रियाद करूँ,
लोग कहते थे की ये हैसियत तो बस उस खुदा की है।

...and I learn

After a while I learnt the subtle difference between being strong in this world and being insensitive to it, and I learnt that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security. Though I had to be through many barbed wires, scorching suns, torrential rains, burning alleys and blizzards but I began to learn that presents aren't promises and I began to accept my defeats with my head up and eyes open, with the grace of a man, not the grief of a child. After a leap of faith I realized that even sunshine burns if you have too much, so I planted my own garden instead of waiting for someone to bring me flowers...
But even after this the road ahead was never easy and with every step I took, it challenged my faith and crippled my hope. Walking some miles down this lane I felt that at times hope seemed delusive, nothing more than a distraction and I learnt that to see beyond the mist I need to abondon HOPE...I turned cold to my surroundings and this is where I found the silver lining between my crust and my soul. Lost as I was without hope but then only I realized that I really can endure and I do have worth because I learn and I learn. I learn with evry single person I meet, I learn with every friend or lover, I learn with every single kiss and I learn with every good bye.
And this learning somewhere kindles the flame in me, stirs it and brings the song of Pippin form with in me....

Home is behind, the world ahead
there are many paths to tread.
Through shadow to the edge of night,
until the stars are all alight.
Mist and shadow, cloud and shade
all shall fade, all shall fade.............