Oh God I can't sleep, I really need to do something, in fact I need anything to do. Something is really wrong with me. Somewhere a part of me is dying in unrest, crying in pain, withering in this wide open emptiness that surrounds me lately. I really need to feed it with work. Gods help me.
{OK djai calm down. hold yourself, put your thoughts together. You can do it. Go find something productive to do.}
Ahhh.... its easy to say. I am shattered into pieces and its becoming impossible to put those pieces together. I don't even know what am I doing for the past one month.
{Come on forget about the past. Start with a new blog post. Now is a good time to pen down something interesting. lets see what we can write about. For start how about the old tree we saw yesterday. Naked, alone, dying, withered but still standing tall waiting for its color to return. Probably the story of our life. This will be easy for you as you are good at complaining about every thing around.}
Naaa... I don't think I am on the same page with that tree and probably its too clay shade to cry out loud publicly in blogs.
{So how about your guilt for the decisions you made. It will be an easy outlet for the grief and pain.}
You mean a post on those decisions that I was compelled to take when there was no solution because it was my responsibility, those decisions which were bound to make me the bad guy, those decisions which make me feel guilty for just being the one to take them. Are you frakking kidding me?
{Ok! Ok! I think that was a wrong string to pull. So how about this emptiness. This freaking state of your mind where you are trapped with your own subconscious, riddling about your next post on the blog, complaining about the things you aren't doing or should I say don't want to do. That will surely make an interesting post. Go ahead.}
Are you out of your mind? What will they think of me- I have gone nuts, out off the rails. Putting up things on the blog that I hear out loud whenever I close my eyes to sleep which probably is just an imagination of my filthy mind. The very thoughts that haunt me for the past couple of weeks out of my freaking, frakking idleness. The insanity I have been living since I lost all the goals of my life. The things I have put on stake for a part of me that wants to be hibernated for good.
Well I suppose you are right, I should put this. You know why, 'cos I dnt care. May be this is the real me. Go on read it once again and comment on it. Call me a freak, crazy, outlandish whatever you want. I really dnt care. I just want to go back to sleep in peace, satisfied that atleast I have done something, I have written something no matters if it is about my freaking paranoia......
{OK djai calm down. hold yourself, put your thoughts together. You can do it. Go find something productive to do.}
Ahhh.... its easy to say. I am shattered into pieces and its becoming impossible to put those pieces together. I don't even know what am I doing for the past one month.
{Come on forget about the past. Start with a new blog post. Now is a good time to pen down something interesting. lets see what we can write about. For start how about the old tree we saw yesterday. Naked, alone, dying, withered but still standing tall waiting for its color to return. Probably the story of our life. This will be easy for you as you are good at complaining about every thing around.}
Naaa... I don't think I am on the same page with that tree and probably its too clay shade to cry out loud publicly in blogs.
{So how about your guilt for the decisions you made. It will be an easy outlet for the grief and pain.}
You mean a post on those decisions that I was compelled to take when there was no solution because it was my responsibility, those decisions which were bound to make me the bad guy, those decisions which make me feel guilty for just being the one to take them. Are you frakking kidding me?
{Ok! Ok! I think that was a wrong string to pull. So how about this emptiness. This freaking state of your mind where you are trapped with your own subconscious, riddling about your next post on the blog, complaining about the things you aren't doing or should I say don't want to do. That will surely make an interesting post. Go ahead.}
Are you out of your mind? What will they think of me- I have gone nuts, out off the rails. Putting up things on the blog that I hear out loud whenever I close my eyes to sleep which probably is just an imagination of my filthy mind. The very thoughts that haunt me for the past couple of weeks out of my freaking, frakking idleness. The insanity I have been living since I lost all the goals of my life. The things I have put on stake for a part of me that wants to be hibernated for good.
Well I suppose you are right, I should put this. You know why, 'cos I dnt care. May be this is the real me. Go on read it once again and comment on it. Call me a freak, crazy, outlandish whatever you want. I really dnt care. I just want to go back to sleep in peace, satisfied that atleast I have done something, I have written something no matters if it is about my freaking paranoia......
Hey ande.......nicely put together & yeah it was a nice read .One thing i'll assure u, a lot of people have felt like that some point or the other,probably i am also one of them.But keep up the gud work this was my first read but it was interesting ,waiting 4 more 2 come..
ReplyDeleteinteresting read,echoing many thoughts, and the word Frakking
ReplyDeletehey dhanoo..... Again a nice post... hummmmmmmm........ 2 shades of u r life.
ReplyDeleteitne Zehrile dimag mein aise thoughts kaha se aate hain ..... this could only be the result of your sedulous effort.... gud going keeep it up
hey ande .........nice put up.......fighting alter ego ....nice collection of ideas ...keepit up budy ..............craving for more ....
ReplyDeleteoye yaar that was smthing which connects all of us...'coz we all hav had smthng like dis happen to ourselves.. very ARTISTICALLY THOUGHT Of.. Keep Going Bro..
ReplyDelete