Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Ajab 'DATA' ki Gazab Kahanni



After a year and a half wasted in a futile degree in jargon I recently had an epiphany which changed my outlook towards life, well to be honest, towards bachelor life. Being a happy engineer (though the two words cannot be used in a same sentence together but still…) and before coming to the 9th circle of hell and sharing a bed with Lucifer, the quest of life was only to find a suitable mate of opposite sex (I really don’t know how to put it more delicately). But then MBA happened and the objective of the quest changed, which I recently became enlightened with. Since day one I found myself and innocent people like me, around me running a different race to find the more coveted goal: Data. Sometimes it was an assignment, sometimes it was digging graves to unearth the dead which was fashioned enough to be called research, some other time it was some crazy ass competition for a potential recruiter which basically is MBA euphemism for cheap labor, sometimes it was live project and since last one month it has been intern-ship which basically is a ship with worse fate than titanic (at least in titanic the hero got to have some fun just before wrecking).  So coming back to the quest, recently a female friend of mine after being frustrated with being single, pinged me on chat and said ‘I want a Boy Friend’ and I retorted ‘well I want data’. And this ladies and gentlemen was the moment of truth for me. The discussion that followed affirmed my belief on the hypothesis of DATA quest.

Friend: We are talking about more important things in life. Boyfriend is more important than data. Data can be generated (typical MBA confidence after getting acquainted with RAND() in excel) but boyfriend can’t be.

Me: See you can imagine a boyfriend and there is no limit to that imagination but with data you can’t imagine or assume after a certain limit. Boyfriend can betray you any day but data is always loyal to you. Boyfriend can lie to u but data will stare at your face with naked truth, though however irrelevant it may be. Boyfriend will make your life hell but data will make your hell worth living. Most importantly data will let you happily work on it, well that is the other way round with a boyfriend. A boyfriend can only get u laid but data if correctly represented will get you paid as well as ‘ppo’ed (which by the way is very important in an internship).
Call me a romantic but data can be loosely correlated to the Hindi word DAATA which is synonymous to GOD both spiritually and metaphorically.

My Friend didn’t reply after this and I highly doubt she ever will but my preposition was not entirely wrong. If only we had better things to do than running the race of DATA and if not, then they should change the name to MDA (Master in Data Abomination)….



P.S: To all those data Hunters out there who are struggling and working their asses off to get some DATA like me......

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